TG : Let’s get to the studded codpiece — Do you have a sense of humor about that? GS : No it holds in my manhood, otherwise it would be too much for you to take. You’d have to put the book down and confront life. The notion is if you’re going to welcome me with open arms you also have to welcome me with open legs.
TG : That’s a really obnoxious thing to say GS : No it’s not, why should I say something behind your back that I can’t tell you to your face
TG : Has it come to this? Is this the only way you can talk to a woman, with that schtick. GS : Let me ask you something. Why is it schtick when all women have ever wanted since we crawled out of caves is, “why can’t a man just tell me the truth and speak to me plainly”. So if I do that, you can’t have it both ways.
“In our culture we have not addressed these issues because, probably, we did not think they were important,” said Carlos M. Carazo, director of the animal disease division of Puerto Rico’s State Office for Animal Control, in an interview in San Juan last month. “In Puerto Rico, we have so many issues to address, we haven’t had the leisure time to think about animals. But this is probably the time to start thinking about it.”—
Today I dropped my dog off at my best friend’s house so that KJ could watch the dog while I’m out of town on a business trip. I dropped Mirabella off at 7:30am. I made it to exactly 10:30am before I cracked and emailed KJ to see how my little beast did this morning.
I think it’s time for me to just let go, buy the dog some tiny dresses and a savings bond, and fully embrace “crazy-old-lady-with-small-dog” dementia.
That Crap At My Parents’ House is being turned into a book! YUP! We’re super duper excited and very lucky that Abrams Books (who have been huge fans since the begining) will be publishing a book dedicated to all the Crap that our parents’ have.
I want to thank everyone who has…
And … here comes the latest Tumblr blog book deal. Is anyone buying these books? For real, guys. Anyone?
“All the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal. …But with each passing year, and with each whimsical purchase, our libraries become more and more able to articulate who we are, whether we read the books or not.”—
Dear Friend, Family Member, Loved One, and/or Business Associate:
Thank you for your e-mail, which, if it is under three (3) sentences long, I have read. Owing to the large volume of e-mails I’m receiving at this time, please note that it will sometimes take up to fourteen (14) calendar days, though sometimes longer (and sometimes much longer), to respond to your e-mail; in the interim, please rest assured that I am attempting to address, resolve, or think about the matter you have described, unless, of course, I’m avoiding the matter entirely. Some possible reasons for this include:
—Thinking about the matter gives me a headache.
—Thinking about the matter takes longer than forty-five (45) seconds.
—Thinking about the matter is simple enough, and takes less than forty-five (45) seconds, but, when combined with all the other e-mails in my in-box, it creates a synergy of matterdom, exacerbating the headaches mentioned at the beginning of this list.