Some libraries are really, really doing it right.
Created a Blind Date with a Book display at my library! Basically, patrons can choose any book they’d like to check out based on the book’s dating profile. (Yes, we created individual Match.com-type dating profiles for each book). They won’t know what the book is until they check it out!
What a fantastic idea!
"Web app WotWentWrong is a “dating advice portal” that offers people the opportunity to find out why a date didn’t go so well, or provide feedback to someone else explaining what turned them off. The service aims to provide productive social networking that helps people break bad relationship patterns."
I am not going to recap the whole Jon Finkel/Alyssa Bereznak story because I’m exhausted and who has the time? Do I think this woman is shallow for not continuing to date a guy because she finds how he makes his living impossibly geeky? Yeah, probably. Do I think that writing a mean-spirited, link-bait blog post about it is ill-advised, stupid, unfair and a violation of his privacy? Yes. But let’s stop treating this like the crime of the century, shall we?
The Internet has its collective panties in a knot over this one and why not? It’s a clear cut case of Geek Boy = good and Evil Bitch = bad; the Internet was practically invented to tell this story. But where is the same outrage when every jackass you went to high school with posts one of his hilarious, “Woman, get back in the kitchen!” Facebook status updates? Do you know how many online dating profiles I’ve read that have ended with the caveat, “There’s a difference between fat and curvy. Stop lying to yourselves, ladies. If you won’t take care of yourself, why would I date you?” What of the woman who goes on the Two X Chromosomes Community on Reddit and asks, “I finally got the courage to cut my hair short, what do you think?” and the dude who replies, unsolicited, “hair is okay but you’d look better if you dropped a few lbs.” When the guy sitting next to you in the bar, or in my case, some agricultural machinery convention at Opryland, says, “Who cares what Sarah Palin says, she’s hot! Total MILF!” do you start a Twitter campaign complete with hashtag? And when anonymous people on the Internet start calling Bereznak a cow, a virgin and use Twitter to proclaim they’d like to “shit in [her] mouth” and label her with everyone’s favorite C-word, am I supposed to stand around and cheer with geek pride?
I engage in a fair amount of online dating which, admittedly, is a bit like diving into a swimming pool that may or may not have any water in it. I have been out with nerds of every stripe and color. Muppet nerd. Comic book nerd. Doctor Who nerd. Polymer Chemistry nerd. Yiddish folk studies nerd. Perhaps some of you are reading this now. (Hi, Ryan!) I think it’s fair to say that I’m willing to give almost anyone a shot. That doesn’t mean I don’t have ‘deal breakers’ - we all do. You’re rude to my friends? You’re out. I have to babysit you at social gatherings because you can’t be counted upon to engage with other human beings with out supervision? It’s probably not going to work out between us. I secretly suspect you’re a furry and I’m waiting to see how many dates we go before you mention it? Fine. Let’s see how this plays out. You condescend to the waitress? No second date for you. Dem’s the rules.
Not too long ago I asked a friend of mine, a bit of a dating guru herself, to look at my OkCupid profile and provide some suggestions for how to make it more attractive. Her advice? Show more boob, don’t use so many big words, and don’t be quite so clever - you’re intimidating men. I halfheartedly made some of these changes but stopped well short of beating my breast and cursing the heavens about the unfairness of life. Life is unfair. It hurts when people judge each other. But only on days that end with -y.
Jon Finkel, I’m sorry you were outed by this shitty experience and I hope you’re enjoying the outpouring of support. Alyssa Bereznak, I’d like to think that if you were just a few years older you would never have wanted your name to be associated with this kind of vapid content. Geeks of the world, call me. But pretending that men don’t engage in the same kind of behavior, or worse, every day? Sorry boys, that’s a deal breaker.
"The next time I meet someone and have a hard time talking to them, I’m going to ask them all of the security questions I can think of. “Where were you born?” “What is your father’s middle name?” “What was the name of your first pet?” “What is your mother’s maiden name?” “Who was your first roommate?” “What was your childhood nickname?” “What street did you live on in third grade?” I will keep this up until they realize that I am going to rob them blind. And then I will say, “Get better at talking or I’ll empty your accounts!"
Louis CK tells Terry Gross about dating post-divorce: “I started immediately dating women who were younger than me. That’s a very strange dynamic. And from their point of view, it’s like they’re dating a dead person. It’s like a corpse. That’s how I see myself through their eyes.”
Louis, call me.
"Lilit and James were spotted canoodling at a Brooklyn hotspot called The Couch. The two reportedly caught a flick and shared a sumptuous meal of organic homemade Hamburger Helper and that wine that was left over in the fridge from last week. A source who didn’t actually see the couple but totally lives in their building and met them one time said, “They seemed to be in a relationship with each other. Their mail even comes to the same mailbox."
Thank you for your interest in dating me. Due to the high volume of interested applicants, I will not be able to reply to all. Allow four to six weeks for processing. A $10 processing fee may be imposed for incomplete or illegible applications.
Applicant’s Full Name______________________
Applicant’s Nickname(s) _____________________________
Applicant’s Gaming Name(s)_____________________________
Degree(s) you have _____________________________
Boy Scout Rank ___________________
What band instrument you play/played___________________
Has a restraining order ever been filed against you?
Do you currently have a driver’s license?
Do you floss your teeth?
How often do you harass girls on WOW?
What was the last book you read and how long ago did you read it?
Circle one of the following
Slytherin Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw
How often do you shave your face?
Can you cook?
Can you fix a computer?
How many computers do you own?
What have you been for Halloween the past three years?
Which comic series do you read and who is your favorite superhero?
What television shows do you own on dvd?
Do you take your action figures out of the box?
Which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep on?
How many “psycho” ex-girlfriends do you have?
How many exes are you still hooking up with?
When was the last time you had sexual intercourse? ___ a few hours ago ____a few days ago ____a few months ago ____a few years ago
Please specify all fetishes.
Please Circle one of the following
Shaman Rogue Warlock
Check applicable sleep conditions: ___ sleep apnea ___bed wetting ___ sleep-walking ___sleep-talking ___random thrashing ____cover hogging
Do you have children?
Do you like children?
Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
Is she prone to mood swings or currently taking anti-depressants?
Does she like sweet, charming, smart girls?
Please finish the following quotes:
“Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya…”
“Your mother was a hamster…”
“Your lack of faith…”
“Where we are going…”
“Goonies never say…”
“Let’s do the…”
Do you wear cologne? Please spray this form with the kind you are likely to wear on a date.
What is your preferred mode of communication? ___ text ___phone ___email ___IM ___Post-It note ____social networking site ___ Tumblr ask box.
Describe your perfect first date.
Please attach one baby picture, three references, and a copy of your library card and current immunization records.
I ATTEST THAT THESE ANSWERS ARE TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY.
This girl has some good ideas.