“I just flew in from Virginia, and boy is my vagina tired!
“I just flew in from Virginia, and boy is my vagina tired! From the involuntary ultrasound wanding — AM I RIGHT, LADIES? (Beat.) And by the way, why do they call it a ‘wand’? Where are we — Hogwarts? The only thing magically disappearing was my dignity and privacy, BOOM!!! …What’s the difference between a fertilized egg; a corporation; and a woman? (Beat.) One of them isn’t considered a person in Oklahoma! BOOM!!!”—
KRISTEN SCHAAL, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
BOOM!
"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."
~ That’s number three on our list of Rush Limbaugh’s 19 most outrageous remarks. (via newsweek) And politics was established to allow unattractive men easier access to oral sex. -Nancy Martira (via newsweek)
"Not to get too soapbox, but if you want to be pro-woman, you have to be pro- all women, not just the ones whose lives have turned out like yours."
~ Emily V. Gordon - “Let Us Now Celebrate the Aging Party Girl.” “Maybe there’s a possibility that what you’re really upset about is that you don’t want to/can’t live that way, for either practical or ethical reasons, and you know what? That’s not her deal. It’s yours.” (via carry-onbaggage) This is something I need to repeat to myself. Often. (Source: xojane.com, via carry-onbaggage)
Tina Fey is hosting a radio show now.
The Hidden World of Girls with Host Tina Fey from NPR
Cool news alert.
“The Hidden World of Girls, two new hour-long Specials hosted by Emmy Award-winning writer and actress, Tina Fey. Stories of coming of age, rituals and rites of passage, secret identities—of women who crossed a line, broke a trail, changed the tide.”
OMG. Public radio boner.
(via sassyfontaine)
I was mistaken. This is the best thing ever.
MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE if you say no, because I respect your boundaries.
‘CAUSE I’M LONG, AND STRONG
AND I’M DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON as long as it’s okay with you. otherwise I’m good with a movie and some tea.SO LADIES, LADIES, IF YOU WANNA ROLL IN MY MERCEDES please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan accordingly
BABY GOT self-respect
Cause women aint just BIMBO’S, I respect the ladies when they say no!
SO LADIES IF THE BUTT IS ROUND, AND YOU WANT A TRIPLE-X THROWDOWN but then you change your mind its totally cool because its your right
ASS TITTIES ASS ASS TITTIES TITTIES are both perfectly normal body parts that I will respectfully refrain from touching without your permission.
ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM should be informed that the men’s facilities are adequate and the stalls currently available, and only antiquated gender norms are keeping us from all calmly sharing that space without shame or fear of harassment.
SHE’S SWEAT, WET, GOT IT GOIN’ LIKE A TURBO ‘VETTE, so I offered her a towel and a glass of water because all that dancing can really be exhausting.
On Jon Finkel, Alyssa Bereznak and Rejection
I am not going to recap the whole Jon Finkel/Alyssa Bereznak story because I’m exhausted and who has the time? Do I think this woman is shallow for not continuing to date a guy because she finds how he makes his living impossibly geeky? Yeah, probably. Do I think that writing a mean-spirited, link-bait blog post about it is ill-advised, stupid, unfair and a violation of his privacy? Yes. But let’s stop treating this like the crime of the century, shall we?
The Internet has its collective panties in a knot over this one and why not? It’s a clear cut case of Geek Boy = good and Evil Bitch = bad; the Internet was practically invented to tell this story. But where is the same outrage when every jackass you went to high school with posts one of his hilarious, “Woman, get back in the kitchen!” Facebook status updates? Do you know how many online dating profiles I’ve read that have ended with the caveat, “There’s a difference between fat and curvy. Stop lying to yourselves, ladies. If you won’t take care of yourself, why would I date you?” What of the woman who goes on the Two X Chromosomes Community on Reddit and asks, “I finally got the courage to cut my hair short, what do you think?” and the dude who replies, unsolicited, “hair is okay but you’d look better if you dropped a few lbs.” When the guy sitting next to you in the bar, or in my case, some agricultural machinery convention at Opryland, says, “Who cares what Sarah Palin says, she’s hot! Total MILF!” do you start a Twitter campaign complete with hashtag? And when anonymous people on the Internet start calling Bereznak a cow, a virgin and use Twitter to proclaim they’d like to “shit in [her] mouth” and label her with everyone’s favorite C-word, am I supposed to stand around and cheer with geek pride?
I engage in a fair amount of online dating which, admittedly, is a bit like diving into a swimming pool that may or may not have any water in it. I have been out with nerds of every stripe and color. Muppet nerd. Comic book nerd. Doctor Who nerd. Polymer Chemistry nerd. Yiddish folk studies nerd. Perhaps some of you are reading this now. (Hi, Ryan!) I think it’s fair to say that I’m willing to give almost anyone a shot. That doesn’t mean I don’t have ‘deal breakers’ - we all do. You’re rude to my friends? You’re out. I have to babysit you at social gatherings because you can’t be counted upon to engage with other human beings with out supervision? It’s probably not going to work out between us. I secretly suspect you’re a furry and I’m waiting to see how many dates we go before you mention it? Fine. Let’s see how this plays out. You condescend to the waitress? No second date for you. Dem’s the rules.
Not too long ago I asked a friend of mine, a bit of a dating guru herself, to look at my OkCupid profile and provide some suggestions for how to make it more attractive. Her advice? Show more boob, don’t use so many big words, and don’t be quite so clever - you’re intimidating men. I halfheartedly made some of these changes but stopped well short of beating my breast and cursing the heavens about the unfairness of life. Life is unfair. It hurts when people judge each other. But only on days that end with -y.
Jon Finkel, I’m sorry you were outed by this shitty experience and I hope you’re enjoying the outpouring of support. Alyssa Bereznak, I’d like to think that if you were just a few years older you would never have wanted your name to be associated with this kind of vapid content. Geeks of the world, call me. But pretending that men don’t engage in the same kind of behavior, or worse, every day? Sorry boys, that’s a deal breaker.
(via Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)
For the next time you encounter one of those oh-so-funny “Woman, get in the kitchen” jokes on the Internet.
"I know many people are concerned about the destruction of the sanctity of marriage, as well, and they view this as a threat. But let me ask you something, ladies and gentlemen, what are we really protecting when you look at the divorce rate in our society? Turn on the television. We have a wedding channel on cable TV devoted to the behavior of people on their way to the altar. They spend billions of dollars, behave in the most appalling way, all in an effort to be princess for a day. You don’t have cable television? Put on network TV. We’re giving away husbands on a game show. You can watch “The Bachelor,” where 30 desperate women will compete to marry a 40-year-old man who has never been able to maintain a decent relationship in his life. We have “The Bacholorette,” in reverse. And my favorite show, which thank God only ran one season because it was truly distasteful, was “The Littlest Groom,” where 30 desperate women competed to marry a dwarf. That’s what we’ve done to marriage in America, where young women are socialized from the time they’re five years old to think of being nothing but a bride. They plan every day what they’ll wear, how they’ll look, the invitations, the whole bit. They don’t spend five minutes thinking about what it means to be a wife. People stand up there before God and man — even in Senator Diaz’s church — they swear to love, honor, and obey; they don’t mean a word of it. So if there’s anything wrong, any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right, and we have abused it for decades."
~ NY Senator Diane Savino (via lady88) ^^^^This. This. So much this. (via stfuhypocrisy) brb - have to look up Diane Savino and vote for her forever (via elizmayerle)
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